Avoiding
by Julia Bhansali
We have the privilege of welcoming another guest artist on UiLY today: our friend, Julia Bhansali.
If you came to our last poetry event, you saw Julia pop up on stage during the open mic and perform a song that hushed the audience to silence with its beauty and honesty. We were so moved by her lyrics and performance that we asked her to be our guest artist today.
Julia has an angelic voice and a knack for writing songs that go straight to the heart. Below are the lyrics to that stunning song she played in March, along with a voice recording of Julia performing it on her ukulele. Give it a listen, and be sure to check out the links at the end to follow more of her work.
Here is “Avoiding”…
“Avoiding”
I thought that you loved me
Maybe you really did
Now that seems just like a dream
A distance memory
As you tell me to my face
That you’ve gone and walked away
That I’m not what you want
You realized I am not the one
You sure did a good job
Of really convincing me
That you don’t care at all in there
For what you’re about to leave
You’ve even fooled yourself
And you feel you’re doing well
Cause it is all my fault
You can’t accept the blame at all
Nobody knows who you really are
Neither do you, you don’t know your own heart
You run away when somebody gets close
The presence of love, it will always expose
The pain you don’t wanna see
The hurt that’s been buried deep
Cause you feel unworthy
Ashamed underneath
Running and hiding
Unwilling to change
Or accept responsibility
So you just keep avoiding me
Seems like on the outside
You know what you really want
And everyone under the sun
Thinks your pretty great
But they have never seen
The “you” you’ve been to me
Picking me apart
I was so easy to discard
Still, I’m left to wonder
What did you tell your friends?
The ones I met, the ones that said
You’re happier than you’ve been
Did you tell them it was me?
That I’m just not what you need?
I guess they’ll never know the truth
They’ll never know that it was you
Nobody knows who you really are
Neither do you, you don’t know your own heart
You run away when somebody gets close
The presence of love it will always expose
The pain you don’t wanna see
The hurt that’s been buried deep
Cause you feel unworthy
Ashamed underneath
Running and hiding
Unwilling to change
Or accept responsibility
So you just keep avoiding me
Julia Bhansali is a Mississippi-made musician and storyteller based in NYC. A former international model, she now works with Many Hopes, a global nonprofit that equips survivors to defeat the injustices they’ve experienced.
Julia began making music at the age of 12. She writes and produces all of her music in bedrooms and living rooms, crafting raw, organic songs that seek to express the complexities of the human mind and soul through lived experience and spiritual truth. Follow along with Julia’s work on Apple Music, Spotify, and Instagram.
xoxo
UiLY